Enigmatic. . .

This lady in the hallway,
she always summons this unfathomable sighs,
this stealthy frowns,
hidden beneath her icy crown. . .

Mystery. . .

She's so mysterious in ways that Even I cannot anticipate,
In a language that I can't communicate,
In motions where I was left frozen. . .

From boring grasses to Green leaves,
to Purple petals and now this. . .

Mystery. . .
Your mystery. . .
I dig your apathy. . .

Only to find out your mystery was all along my. . . .




Misery. . .

Awakening. . .

They said that it is possible for someone to wake up one morning and not feel the same way they felt yesterday, for that special someone, for that only thing, for that something. . .

Gone. . .

Totally forgotten. . .

Erased. . .

like dusts in the wind,
like sand in your palms,
like water in your hands. . .

only difference is that they disappear without logic,
without explanation,
without reason. . .
like evaporation but without any other formation. . .

Non-existent. . .

And if one day I woke up and forgot about you

then i'll go back to sleep. . .
for days,
or months,
years or decades,
centuries or milleniums. . .

I'll Hibernate. . .

just to remember the feeling. . . that feeling that once made me want to live. . .
that some thing i'd die for. . . that reason that i'll be a fool for. . .

If all else fails. . . just dont wake me anymore

Over-Decaffeinated People

Placebos. . . Placebos. . . Placebo effect. . .

When will it end?

I have returned to my old past time favorite. . . COFFEE . . .

For weeks I've been drinking coffee to soothe my morning sickness and to be more than awake in front of the PC. forty days and forty nights. . . err. that was my routine coffee in the Morning. Until we went to the grocery to refill that dying jar of coffee. . .


I noticed that my Mother bought "DECAF" and I asked her if i could buy a separate coffee but with caffeine on it. . . she said OK. . . and asked her again. . .

"Is that DECAF in our cofee jar all this time?"

"YES"

. . . The whole universe spun around me in a hazy and purplish kind of way like emploding and exploding at the same time, like being sucked in a black hole then suddenly finding my self in disbelief at the center of the grocery store. . .

A big "?!!" was in my thought bubble. .

and that was me. . . Scared, Paralyzed, Betrayed. . .


All this time I believed that that coffee helped me to stay up in the oddest hours of the morning. .
All this time I believed that that cup of coffee helped me keep my sanity and my self in place. . .


The mind is tricky. . .
What you believe is what you see. . .
What you believe is what you feel. . .
What you believe is what you are. . .
What you think you put in your mouth makes you stronger. . . but in reality, if it's DECAF. . .

you're a fucking loooooooooooooooooser...

Feel Good Music

Mortality

I made this essay and gave it to my Ex-Girlfriend as a speech for her father's funeral. I just want to share this to anyone who's reading this blog.

Death, Many of us fear death...
many of us look at it as the Dead end of life, Agony, Torment, Pain and even failure.
But we must look at at the brighter side, Because for some death is a blessing...
it is the ultimate expression of our mortality.

Death is just the separation of our soul to our physical body and not the separation of our relationship to our loved ones
because love is more powerful than death.

We all live in this world once, a chance that the divine gave us to search for our purpose and to search for the meaning of life itself...
to find answers, answers that will lead to more questions... questions that will lead to even more questions... the never ending process of searching for the truth.
until we stop asking God and in that moment we will realize that answers come in their own rightful time that God has intended for our own sake... for our own good
that we will all eventually thank him in the future for his perfect and flawless plans.

Feel Good Music

Reflections

"Pain makes us make bad decisions, fear of pain is almost as big a motivator. " ~ house

BLOODY IRONIC

sanely insane
secretively open
seriously funny
strangely familiar
vulnerably strong
sinfully good
tremendously small
girlishly masculine
dangerously harmless
friendly foe
terribly nice
passively aggressive
sleepy insomniac
grown up kid
hopeless optimist
nameless celebrity
roaring silence
perfectly human
complicatedly simple
terminally everlasting

THE PLACEBO EFFECT

YOU ARE FINE.

C_________E

Dont' tell me who you are,
Never Tell me your name.
Don't show a glimpse of Obviousness,
Never call me by name.

Anonimity is your game,
but your disguises are lame. . .

I know you by heart,
It's just my mind telling me I Don't. . .

Why of all people that I know, I'd still think It'll be you

My mind is blind. . .
But my heart sees music.

Singing. . .

Our joy, Our joy, Our joy. . .

I Hope you hear it. . .

Metaphorically Speaking

A and I saw a FLY while having our so called YOSI BREAK after playing a frustrating game of D.O.T.A. My Friend Noticed that this fly can't literally "fly" because one of its wing is damaged,
So I Said. . .

VN: Thats not a FLY thats a JUMP.

A: lol.

Then it came to me. . .

If I was a FLY and cannot "FlY" should I still be called a FLY?

Which Bothers me. . .

If I were that fly maybe. . . I'd be another evolutionary form of a Fly Called "Super Fly"

Co'z hes so stubborn that he knows flying is overrated, and intentionally he decides to jump and crawl instead, co'z it makes him more interesting, more different, more unique,less boring. . . more human. . .

VN

"You Can Never Control Emotions. . . Just Reactions"

Dont Read This It'll get you confused. . .

I don't know,
They dont know,
Who?
Me?
Yes?
No?
I Know you, But I Really don't Know you,
You Know Me, but I'm sure you don't really know me,
I Know that you know that I don't know what you know,
You know that you don't completely know yourself,
and I know that you dont have to know everything about anyone either. . .
If the answer is questioning you,
why bother answering and repeat the same cycle that is just looping in your head?
why not answer a question with a YES or NO without thinking about the gray area. . .
Why can't all thing be just BLACK and WHITE?
Gray is boring anyway. . .
But why bother?

I warned you. . .