I am one of those few who walks this lonely road, broken and screaming like an abandoned child..
but I can or could be over this... be over you and over me... its just a matter of time to see myself smile...
but for the meantime i'll just be lonely and alone, so I could (hopefully) bring salvation to my breaking heart and fading soul...
I loved you... and i gave you my all but it turned out to be unfair for me... coz i saw my reflection ... i was crying alone...
you ended everything without me knowing it... and I fully respect what you did... but can you respect me too? and hear this
words that I will whisper to you... I love you so much... so much that you changed me and I loved you more for giving that opportunity for me... to find again the man I used to be... But dont you ever worry co'z after all this I have learned...
maybe thats all co'z i cant say it all... with every single letters and every single word there will always be a hidden message about how I loved you, more than you ever know. and more than I could show... maybe this is where it ends...
I love you... I loved you... but Goodbye...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
GENESIS 11:11
Hmmm... walang magawa I came from school planing to go home early but it turned out na inabot nanaman ako ng sinag ng bwan...
ano bang masarap ilagay dito?
pano ko ba sisimulan to?
sige ganito nalang... (ehem... Ehem...)
sige ganito nalang... (ehem... Ehem...)
† INTRODUKSYON †
Eto ang Blog ko ... wala akong pake . . . These are my PERSONAL ideas, thoughts, fantasies and Conviction... Tungkol sa akin?
Well and masasabi ko ay ako ay isa lamang pangkaraniwang tao... gumigising ng maaga... umuuwi madalas ng umaga... yosi ang madalas kong kasama pag busog at inaantok... a person who is very much adiccted to sweets, kaya bet ko mamamatay ako ng maaga dahil magkakadyabetis ako at kakagatin ng isang kaprasong langgam at kakainin ang buong katawan ko ng isang malubhang sugat na hindi gumagaling na dulot ng kagat ng isa lamang pinakamumunting nilalang na pinangalanan nating "LANG - GAM" na halos maliit pa sa butas ng karayom ang kagat sa akin, mga 1000 nanometer lang ang sukat mas maliit pa sa molecules ng utak ni Erap na siyang nagpabagsak ng ekonomiya ng Pilipinas ( MAntakin mo isa tayo sa mayayamang bansa dati dito sa Asya nasan na tayo ngayon?) Galing ako sa DNA ni Zenaida Batallones at ng aking Non-Existent nang ama na si Benjamin "BOBOT" Carlos... Galing ako sa Broken family kaya Broken din ang aking GENES at kulang ang aking Chromosomes na dapat ay 23 Chormosomes ngayon 20 nalang... pero cool padin ako.
Masasabi ko na akoy isang INDEPENDENT na MANUNULAT dahil ang aking mga gawa ay mula sa aking isipan lamang at sa mga eksperyensyang aking nararanasan at nalalagpasan. Masasabi kong akoy isang taong may konting sapak, konting seryoso pero madalas Makulit... As in... Pero nilulugar ko ang aking mga ugali ngunit, datapwat kung ito ay naapektuhan ng atmospera ng katangahan at kawalang kakwentahan ng mga taong pumapaligid ay nagbabago ang ugali ko at nagiging isa akong NEUROTIC [ affected by neurosis: relating to, involving, affected by, or characteristic of a mild psychiatric disorder characterized by depression, anxiety, or hypochondria ] dahil ayoko sa lahat ay taong BOBO at WALANG KWENTA mga taong tipong walang lugar at walang sense na bigla nalang sumusulpot sa mundo na parang mga Kabuteng ginagawang drugs ng mga taga CalL Center upang malabanan ang antok at kahit papaanoy Lumipas ang kanilang miserableng buhay...
[ Kung tinatatamaan ka man sa mga sinasabi ko sorry ka nalang ILAG ka nalang... PANO? simple... Magbago ka ]
Isa akong Estudyante ng FEU (Far Eastern University) Kurso ko ay EDUKASYON ( General Education ) Akoy isang produkto rin ng mga NURSING STUDENTS na nasira ang ulo at naadik sa larong kompyuter na tinatawag na DOTA ngunit namulat sa katotohanan na hindi pala lahat ng sinasabi ng tao kailangan mong sundin, kayat heto akot ginagawa ang gusto kong gawin ang MAGTURO at MANG IMPLUWENSYA NG TAO na maaring magpabago ng ikot ng mundo *Twisting Turn*... eto ang natutunan ko sa aking pagkabigo sa aking unang kurso
"kung may gusto kang gawin at mamahalin mo ito't ikasasaya ng buhay mo GAWIN MO! tang INA KA!" -_- ( sorry nadala ako ng aking damdamin )
Bakit ba ako nagsusulat???
naniniwala akong na kung mayroon ka sa loob mo na hindi mo ILALABAS kusa itong mabubulok at hindi na mapapakinabangan aakyat ito sa utak mo at kakalat sa buong pagkatao mo at magdudulot ng sakit na kilala sa tawag na
"KAMANG - MANGAN", nagsusulat ako para sa aking personal na kasiyahan at paghahasa ng aking bokabularyo at talento... Hindi ako magaling na Manunulat akoy isang pangkaraniwang tao lamang na may sapat na Kaalaman sa pagsulat. Hindi ko perpekto ang Lingua Pura o ang Ingles.. Hanggat maari gusto kong magsulat sa wikang PIlipino dahil mas naipapaabot ko ang aking mga mensahe sa aking mga masugid na mambabasa... Salamat nga pala sa inyong suporta...
Naitigil ko nga pala ang aking unang BLOG ( comes from the word WEBLOG ) dahil sa kadahilanang pagkakaiba ng mga sulatin ko noon .. mga IDEA na nagbabago sa pagtakbo ng walang humpay na PANAHON... NAgkakaron din ng EBOLUSYON ang pagsusulat ... yan ang aking paniniwala... ngunit ang aking mga CONVICTION ay nananatili...
At Muli ako nga pala ang Awtor ng BLOG na ito... Balang araw ay isasalin ko to sa pahina na mababasa ng madla at kahit papaano ay magbunga ang aking mga gawa pangarap kong marinig ako ng mga espesyal na taong nakakaintindi sa aking mga pananaw at paniniwala...
"Hindi lahat ng binabasa ay para sa lahat ng tao... may mga babasahin na nakalaan lamang sa mga taong naliliwanagan at maliwanag ang pagiisip at bukas ang utak sa lahat ng bagay" ~VN
bago ako matapos iiwan ko muna to sa lahat ng tagabasa ko...
"Magiwan tayo ng Magandang Lamat sa mundo."~VN
Nuff said...babay muna †
Monday, December 3, 2007
Night Fades Till the Dawn Breaks... MOrning Comes But Still were Numbed...
A s usual it's late at night and I have nothing to do but to sit in front of my PC and spend a percentage of my lifespan... (ubo ubo)
I think I have soar throat and flu... well im not yet sure but I feel teribble lately coz' I havent slept that much. Yesterday I went to the park near the municipal building of Cainta
after eating dinner in Shakeys... well speaking of Shakeys i think their food is GooD. and i mean GooooooooOoOoD coz its affordable and formal like a high class resto' and the Foood? GoooooOod though it sucks that while im eating a man nearby was shouting loud in his phone and it really affected my appetite... imagine eating while hearing "PUTANG INA!" and "ANAK NG!" and more uber irritating vulgar words which was like hearing an upcoming airplaine or living near an international airport. Anyway, I was doing this EHEMMMMMMM EHEMMMMMMM gesture so that his 3 son could hear me and stop their dad before Self destructing in public ( or more like spontaneous human combustion due to exessive anger and overwhelming temper) kulang nalang mag RAWR!!! sya eh... hehe... anyway I still was able to eat after he eventually hanged up his phone and stare blankly in the fancy walls of shakeys... I was secretly looking at him thinking whats he Gon' do next? i was thinking is he gonna slap the manager and order for a bottomless beer??? or is he gonna treat everybody in shakeys and then kill his self afterwards because hes a Psychedelic Psycho ruining everybodys dinner... oH hell! what the fuck do i care??? maybe if he treated us I wouLD! haha!
hmmm ... (breathe) .... (cough) after that longday of walking to and fro around the U-BELT and hearing a Scottish like man over the doinner table i went to Cainta and watched a Program for the fiesta . it was entitled "Pretty Boy", an event held anually every first week of December and also for the Entertainment of the townfolks celebrating their FIESTA ... well the program was kinda' " I'D RATHER SUCK EGGS AND LICK MY GRANDMA" kind of show... but what am I doing there? well my Friend named Francis (a.k.a DJ CIS) was there and doing his job... they have this MOBILE/ SOUND AND LIGHTS kind of business and i was there helping him and well to catch up co'z of my hectic sked and an unwanted ANTI-SOCIAL EMONIZATION way back then...( if you get what i mean... )
I was there just for Fun and company and also to experience Fiesta in Cainta, coz since we moved in a village my life tragically lacked social contact to the outside world... ( it's kinda boring living in a village) it was fun staying there., lots of people,food,fishball,footlongs,bargains and many more!
Mejo BIG ang kickback ko that night coz I didn't return the change of 500 to Ermats Zenaida hehe ~_~ so i have enough money to buy some this and that... I bought 5 finger lights ,a laser pointer, some Pirated DVD's (piracy is a crime and what the fuck do I care? Corruption is worst than buying pirated CD's) and lots of YOSI i think i consumed a PACK and a half of Marlboro Menthols... whew maybe thats why my throat feels terrible. hmmmm. well ... wala sarap mag YOSI EH! XD
We were having fun of the finger lights coz were doing the kinda techno light thing while soundtripping before the program started. the finger lights were usefull for signaling the crew and the laser too coz we dont have to go here and there to shout at the crazy kidz sitting at the scaffolding where our uber mega Sound Systems were placed, we just point the laser in their eye and shout "PUTA BUMABA KA JAN! KULIT NIO HA!" and also to those peeps resting thei weights in the spotlights... whew forcing people to follow a simple instruction and disciplining them (sumaway) many people is a hard task it's like licking your own elbow .... exhausting and frustrating at the same time...
It was almost 3 a.m. when the show ended ... and the winner was a fucking losser ... he didn't deserve to win... his english was so PILIT tho' I give him an A+ for Effort... still he didn't answered the simple question "why are all men equal?" and he was saying "Kasi ang lalake ... lalake...and blah blahs"... he was only refering to men/lalake [MASCULINE] which was like a mile away from the question... well I think hes point of view was a little disrupted... and another contestant who answered the question
"Do you agree in male and Gay relationship?" was kinda harsh coz he said "I STRONGLY DISAGREE!" ( may strongly pa amp! anu yun conviction?) hahaha I was thinking of his GAY manager.... Wahhahahahha!
well The show ended and everyone went home and we stayed there for couple of hours ...(me tripin and singing "mister swabe" and practicing "creep" hahah 'twas FUN) to clean up and to bring the UBER SPEAKERS and MEGA HYPER ULTRA ELECTRO MAGNETIC MIXERS back in the stock room. and after that?! ITS OCTOBER FEST IN DECEMBER! hehe tho' I only drank a Quarter glass of beer coz' im not in the mood to drink.
wheeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww it was a long day and a very frustrating sunday ( nakasira kami ng hiniram na motor while 4 rapairshops were closed ) and after apologizing to the owner of the Mega bulok na 1985 motorbike that was like a Casket waiting to Crumble hahahah! I went home at almost noon and sleep the rest of the day...
Well... before I go to sleep (again) I would like to answer the two questions that the two stupid gwapo nga bobo naman participants failed to answer rationaly in the event...
here it goes...
Q 1: Why are all men equal?
My Answer: Before I answer the question I qould like to say thank you and a pleasant evening to all... Going back to the question why are all men equal? Well Most of us thinks that it is the material things that makes men equal which is virtually imposibble because there are many poor and many rich people... though they have a different status in life they still have RIGHTS, Unique Characteristics, Soul and they are all Mortals searching for Hapiness... thats all thank you. ( nasan na yung cash prize ko? hahahaha!)
Q 2: Do you agree in Men to Men/ Men and Gay relationship?
My answer: For me it's ok... Coz We all have our own Rights and Decission. If a gay wants to marry or have a relationship with a man (lalake) then let him do what the HESHE wants (hahahaha!) coz LOVE IS BLIND IT DOESNT SEE GENDER IT ONLY SEES WHATS INSIDE THE PERSON... ( as simple and brief as that )
Damn kung ako lang kasali dun TANG NA! malamang WAGI! pakers! kailangan ko ng pera mga MOFOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sige TULOG NA nga lang ako Namamatay na UTak ko! hehehehe! So... NUff said for now... im sleepy... Thanks for reading... Hope to see some feedbacks/Comments.... Nyt...
I think I have soar throat and flu... well im not yet sure but I feel teribble lately coz' I havent slept that much. Yesterday I went to the park near the municipal building of Cainta
after eating dinner in Shakeys... well speaking of Shakeys i think their food is GooD. and i mean GooooooooOoOoD coz its affordable and formal like a high class resto' and the Foood? GoooooOod though it sucks that while im eating a man nearby was shouting loud in his phone and it really affected my appetite... imagine eating while hearing "PUTANG INA!" and "ANAK NG!" and more uber irritating vulgar words which was like hearing an upcoming airplaine or living near an international airport. Anyway, I was doing this EHEMMMMMMM EHEMMMMMMM gesture so that his 3 son could hear me and stop their dad before Self destructing in public ( or more like spontaneous human combustion due to exessive anger and overwhelming temper) kulang nalang mag RAWR!!! sya eh... hehe... anyway I still was able to eat after he eventually hanged up his phone and stare blankly in the fancy walls of shakeys... I was secretly looking at him thinking whats he Gon' do next? i was thinking is he gonna slap the manager and order for a bottomless beer??? or is he gonna treat everybody in shakeys and then kill his self afterwards because hes a Psychedelic Psycho ruining everybodys dinner... oH hell! what the fuck do i care??? maybe if he treated us I wouLD! haha!
hmmm ... (breathe) .... (cough) after that longday of walking to and fro around the U-BELT and hearing a Scottish like man over the doinner table i went to Cainta and watched a Program for the fiesta . it was entitled "Pretty Boy", an event held anually every first week of December and also for the Entertainment of the townfolks celebrating their FIESTA ... well the program was kinda' " I'D RATHER SUCK EGGS AND LICK MY GRANDMA" kind of show... but what am I doing there? well my Friend named Francis (a.k.a DJ CIS) was there and doing his job... they have this MOBILE/ SOUND AND LIGHTS kind of business and i was there helping him and well to catch up co'z of my hectic sked and an unwanted ANTI-SOCIAL EMONIZATION way back then...( if you get what i mean... )
I was there just for Fun and company and also to experience Fiesta in Cainta, coz since we moved in a village my life tragically lacked social contact to the outside world... ( it's kinda boring living in a village) it was fun staying there., lots of people,food,fishball,footlongs,bargains and many more!
Mejo BIG ang kickback ko that night coz I didn't return the change of 500 to Ermats Zenaida hehe ~_~ so i have enough money to buy some this and that... I bought 5 finger lights ,a laser pointer, some Pirated DVD's (piracy is a crime and what the fuck do I care? Corruption is worst than buying pirated CD's) and lots of YOSI i think i consumed a PACK and a half of Marlboro Menthols... whew maybe thats why my throat feels terrible. hmmmm. well ... wala sarap mag YOSI EH! XD
We were having fun of the finger lights coz were doing the kinda techno light thing while soundtripping before the program started. the finger lights were usefull for signaling the crew and the laser too coz we dont have to go here and there to shout at the crazy kidz sitting at the scaffolding where our uber mega Sound Systems were placed, we just point the laser in their eye and shout "PUTA BUMABA KA JAN! KULIT NIO HA!" and also to those peeps resting thei weights in the spotlights... whew forcing people to follow a simple instruction and disciplining them (sumaway) many people is a hard task it's like licking your own elbow .... exhausting and frustrating at the same time...
It was almost 3 a.m. when the show ended ... and the winner was a fucking losser ... he didn't deserve to win... his english was so PILIT tho' I give him an A+ for Effort... still he didn't answered the simple question "why are all men equal?" and he was saying "Kasi ang lalake ... lalake...and blah blahs"... he was only refering to men/lalake [MASCULINE] which was like a mile away from the question... well I think hes point of view was a little disrupted... and another contestant who answered the question
"Do you agree in male and Gay relationship?" was kinda harsh coz he said "I STRONGLY DISAGREE!" ( may strongly pa amp! anu yun conviction?) hahaha I was thinking of his GAY manager.... Wahhahahahha!
well The show ended and everyone went home and we stayed there for couple of hours ...(me tripin and singing "mister swabe" and practicing "creep" hahah 'twas FUN) to clean up and to bring the UBER SPEAKERS and MEGA HYPER ULTRA ELECTRO MAGNETIC MIXERS back in the stock room. and after that?! ITS OCTOBER FEST IN DECEMBER! hehe tho' I only drank a Quarter glass of beer coz' im not in the mood to drink.
wheeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww it was a long day and a very frustrating sunday ( nakasira kami ng hiniram na motor while 4 rapairshops were closed ) and after apologizing to the owner of the Mega bulok na 1985 motorbike that was like a Casket waiting to Crumble hahahah! I went home at almost noon and sleep the rest of the day...
Well... before I go to sleep (again) I would like to answer the two questions that the two stupid gwapo nga bobo naman participants failed to answer rationaly in the event...
here it goes...
Q 1: Why are all men equal?
My Answer: Before I answer the question I qould like to say thank you and a pleasant evening to all... Going back to the question why are all men equal? Well Most of us thinks that it is the material things that makes men equal which is virtually imposibble because there are many poor and many rich people... though they have a different status in life they still have RIGHTS, Unique Characteristics, Soul and they are all Mortals searching for Hapiness... thats all thank you. ( nasan na yung cash prize ko? hahahaha!)
Q 2: Do you agree in Men to Men/ Men and Gay relationship?
My answer: For me it's ok... Coz We all have our own Rights and Decission. If a gay wants to marry or have a relationship with a man (lalake) then let him do what the HESHE wants (hahahaha!) coz LOVE IS BLIND IT DOESNT SEE GENDER IT ONLY SEES WHATS INSIDE THE PERSON... ( as simple and brief as that )
Damn kung ako lang kasali dun TANG NA! malamang WAGI! pakers! kailangan ko ng pera mga MOFOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sige TULOG NA nga lang ako Namamatay na UTak ko! hehehehe! So... NUff said for now... im sleepy... Thanks for reading... Hope to see some feedbacks/Comments.... Nyt...
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