"I am Ambiguity"

Your life was nearly perfect,
You've got all the things you want,
but not all the things you need,

I'm your shame your misery and your pain,
in your prayers I can hear my name,
the one you blame.
But no. . .

Do you realize that I make your life worth living,
that I supress and improve your reality simultaneously,
that I gave you a story to tell.

This is opportunity. . .
Be Close to me. . .
Hear me. . .
Come closer. . .
You'll see.

Madre

Para kang ulan. . .

Paminsan minsan lang nandyan,
Sa mga oras na akoy nalulungkot,
lalo mong sinisilaban ang aking lumbay. . .

Sa mga oras na akoy mahina lalo kang lumalakas
at nagiging bagyo,
takpan man ang pandinig, nabibingi parin ako.
di' lang sa iyo kundi sa mga boses ng isan-libong ako.

Pakiramdam ko isa lang ako sa mga ambong pinapakawalan mo,
sabihin mo mang mahalaga ako,
kung mawala ako'y ito'y di kawalan sa iyo.

Ano nga lang ba ako kundi isang parte ng higanteng ulap na ikaw,
umiitim at kumakapal, kapag napuno, umaapaw...

tama na. . . itigil mo na. . .
ayaw ko na sa ulan.

Head on Collision. . .

If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.

~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninu

Stressed and Distressed. . .

f*cked up, Messy and disordered.

That is how my life is at the moment. . .

And I keep doing this to myself, though I'm aware that what I'm doing is so. . .so wrong in the first place.

It's this feeling of apathy that consumes me.

No one can help me except myself, No one can really define how I feel when I do this. . .

It's Narcotic...

I just wish I can be those people who are focused and undisturbed...

Those who thinks they can be, and be it, and not be affected by external disturbances and emotions at all.

But I'm not that kind of a person. . .

I just want my peace of mind but I unconsciously loose it. . .

I feel more restless. . . every now and then.